When Will This End!

When will this end? That is what I ask myself everyday. As much as I like what I do there is no future with this company. But most of all I'm tired of the monotony; start work at 8am take lunch at noon leave at 5pm day in day out. The purpose of my job is to pay the bills, there is no stimulation whatsoever. It is hard for me to see the benefit when I am struggling. I have been down this road so many time with myself and this time I swear will be different. As I'm sitting here listening to Amy Winohouse(don't sleep her cd is off the chain), I feel as if tomorrow might bring me what I'm looking for. I put myself through so much unnecessary stress. The reason is I must succeed, I must show my children that there is so much out there that they can have. I want them to have more than the day in day out of work and paying bills.

Growing up I wasn't taught how to succeed. I was taught to go to work, pay your rent and bills and don't depend on anyone. Don't get me wrong some of these tools are necessary but I wasn't taught to have a plan. No wait, the plan I taught was to get a job and pay your own bills. It wasn't until I became an adult and started working in the corporate world that I learned how to climb the corporate ladder. In my early twenties it was a dream that I tried to make come true. I did well for myself and my children but things started to change. The job market started to change, jobs were not stable anymore and benefits are not what they use to be. So now what do I do? Now that I'm in my thirties I see things totally different. I know the job market will never be okay. Companies are paying less money for a whole lot of work. Somewhere in all of this madness I have to get over the wall that I have hit. I cannot do this if I don't have the right mind set. I have always been determined but I have not applied that determination to the right things. I am always worried about paying rent and bills, as I should be. But there must be some other avenues to take in order to change this cycle. Honestly I would love to win the lottery for $200 million and not do a damn thing. But until that time comes I have no choice but to work.

I don't plan to work the rest of my life, I would like to retire at some point. We all know there will be no social security for us, so we must have a back up plan. I have been told to stay with my company as long as I can because jobs are scarce. I plan to stay there so that it looks good on my resume, but I do not plan on retiring from there. This is not my future, I don't want to play it safe and struggle for the rest of my life for the sake of keeping a job. I need some answers, someone help! At this point my biggest challenge is patience. They is hard to have when you are constantly waiting on the next paycheck. I need this situation to change now. Some of the answers to my question are obvious but sometimes I need a little validation. No one said life was going to be easy, that's fine, but I would like the some easiness to fall from the sky, lol.