Killing Time
I haven't had the desire to write anything lately. Maybe because I don't want to give some of what has been going on any of my energy. Certain things I had to let go and move on. I have to continue working on my goal and my family, everything else has to take a back seat. I was on a strict course and somewhere along the line I drove right off the side of the road. My current and ongoing goal is my family, I can't get too far if my home life is not right.
Next week school starts for me and the kids, man I can't wait. I miss school and can't wait to get some kind of stimulation. I trying to take as many classes as possible before I transfer to a university. I have had exceptional guidance from my counselor, lord know I'm trying to graduate with a four year degree not a ten year.
Baby Girl and I have been working hard at getting our relationship together. It has not been easy or perfect in no way, so I'm going to even lie and make it seen like it's been all good. But Baby Girl is still putting in a big effort, the real test is when school starts. We have disagreed on a lot of things and I had to check her a few time, but her reactions were different. She responds differently now, she is some what taking responsibility for what she does. She is 15 so there is only so much she is going to admit to. I think she understands that I am not going to bail her out when she gets into trouble. Our last incident I had to push her in the closet. She said I didn't have to hit her, so I politely(not really polite but hey, what is she going to do) explained to her that I have to right to discipline her anyway I see fit. My exact words where "Better me than the police!" that was the end of that.
My mother flaked out on taking her so Baby Girl is kind of angry about that. My mother started this big ole mess and then backed out at the last minute. Personally I knew it wasn't going to happen but I couldn't tell my daughter. My family is a mess, I can't sit around and let them mess up what I have. My mother has disrespected me for the last time and now she has lost the trust of her granddaughter. She doesn't except that she caused that, instead she blames me. Oh well, I don't care because at the end of the day I'm still the one taking care of my kids alone and with no support. It has gotten to the point where she will not take calls from Baby Girl, now what kind of mess is that! I don't say anything because I don't like influencing my kids to think a certain way about family members. There are things they have to find out on their on.
With everything that is going on, school starting for all of us, extracurricular activities for both kids and working my plate is full. In other words everything and everybody else and their issues have to take a back seat. I don't have time, honestly I don't want to give the time to deal with other stuff.
